You Get What You Expect
By Mark Fallon

For our 20^th anniversary, my wife and I spent a week in Paris. It was everything we expected. It was wonderful.

Before the trip, we conducted a lot of research. We visited our local library and bookstores to get travel guides and map books. Some books were more formal, like Frommer's Guide, while others were not so formal, like The Irreverent Guide to Paris. We downloaded articles from the Internet and reached out to friends and family. We had a lot of information.

With so many sources, some of the advice was contradictory. One person would talk about how helpful people were, while someone else would grouse about snobby Parisians. Americans were beloved. Americans were hated. Speak French if you can. Don't even bother trying to speak French. What were we to expect?

We hadn't been to Paris, but we've traveled to different cities and different countries. We've worked in big cities like Boston and New York, and visited Chicago and Los Angeles. Also, there were some information sources that were more "trustworthy" than others.

We expected that while Paris did have a lot of tourists, the people who lived there would be going about their everyday lives. We expected some language issues, as my French was rusty, but I could form basic sentences and read most signage and menus. We expected to need some help with directions, but our research included reading maps of the city, so we knew the general vicinity of major landmarks. We expected that most of the "myths" about Parisians were just that – myths.

A few myths included:

The French hate Americans. False. There are more permanent displays of the Statue of Liberty in Paris than in New York. There's a major boulevard named after Franklin Roosevelt and museum exhibits of Thomas Jefferson's inventions. We were welcomed warmly everywhere.

French waiters are rude. False. While sitting at a sidewalk café, we watched our waiter, with a full tray, take a moment to guide a blind man through the crowds and down the narrow sidewalk. Maybe French waiters in high-end restaurants are rude, but we went to local cafés and bistros. Of course, waiters at posh restaurants in Hollywood and Manhattan can also serve courses in rudeness.

Parisians don't like Americans trying to speak French. False. Not everyone in Paris speaks English. And that included the nice woman who fixed my broken eyeglasses (free of charge). The only person who corrected my French was a Metro clerk after I mistranslated "my ticket doesn't work". And she smiled while she gave me a new subway pass.

Parisians dress very stylishly. True. I was very impressed with how stylishly most people were dressed, whether going to work or out for the evening. And that included days when it was hot and I was glad I was wearing shorts.

What you expect to happen has a direct impact on your experience. The way you approach a problem changes your perception and your approach. And, your expectations will influence the result.

When starting a project, you should expect the project to succeed. If you take the opposite point of view, you'll look for reasons the project should fail. That may mean overlooking opportunities that could be exploited to achieve your goals.

What do you expect from your employees? If you start with a negative attitude about people, it will be difficult for even the best performers to change your mind. If you start with a positive point of view, you'll be giving people a chance to do well.

You get what you expect. If you expect a project to fail, you'll view every minor setback as a potential catastrophe. If you expect people to work hard for success, you'll see their best efforts in all attempts, even those that fail. And if you expect to have a wonderful time on your vacation, you probably will.